I heart Lindsey Meehleis!

This video is inspiring! Watching it, I wonder....is this my path? I don't know if I yet have the courage to go forward toward being a doula, childbirth educator or whatever God has in store for me, but its exciting to watch other women achieving that goal and I love living vicariously through them.

My Journey to a VBAC from Lindsey Meehleis on Vimeo.

Watching Your Due Date Come and Go

Preparing for Cade's birth, with two births (including my very powerful VBAC) under my belt, I felt like I knew everything I needed to know to have him. I was convinced he would come a week early. I went into labor with Gavin 3 days before my due date. Alayna came 5 days before hers. So, naturally I assumed that each baby would come earlier and earlier and Cade was bound to be a good 7 days early......I was WRONG!!!

I remember scheduling a "40 week" appointment with my midwife and we both joked that it would most likely not be necessary....we were both convinced I'd have Cade before that date. Knowing everything I knew that babies come when they are supposed to and as against elective inductions as I was (am), I must admit it was disappointing to not be in labor and a temptation to "take matters into my own hands". There were definitely things going on externally that made me feel pressured to have this baby SOON! My mom was in town and although I knew she'd be there for several weeks, it definitely felt like everyone was waiting around for this baby to come.

In some ways, I felt responsible that he wasn't here yet! I know that sounds silly, looking in hindsight, but I did have those feelings at the time. My dad flew in on my due date! Again, we had convinced ourselves that he'd come early and my dad would come for a week to see us. That's probably the biggest pressure I had. I *so* wanted my dad to meet his newest grandson. It would have killed me for him to come and go and not see Cade. Because of this, I did agree to have my membranes stripped (but not broken!) at that 40 week appointment....something that I didn't think I wanted to do originally. It didn't really do anything for us right away, but Cade came in his own timing, 5 days past when he was predicted.

That brings me to why I'm posting this today. "The Unnecesarean" has a new guest post about being Postdates and does a great job talking about what that really means. I think when we're in the situation, tired of being pregnant, family is waiting for baby and we're really, really, *really* ready to get this show on the road, I think its a great idea to get our head back in reality and know that our babies really do know the best time to come....its not always when we think it should or will be. I was so grateful to my midwife for her encouragement, assuring me that I was healthy, Cade was healthy....we just needed to wait and not hurry him earlier than when he's ready. I'm reminded that not all women have someone in their life who will encourage them this way. In fact, many women have the exact opposite....a provider who is feeling rushed, wants to induce or schedule surgery, plants seeds of fear that something might be wrong with her baby and pushes for decisions to speed things up. During these times, the best thing we can do is pray for peace. Non-stress tests for the baby are great at easing our worry that something is wrong.

A friend just had a beautiful baby girl at home at almost 42 weeks. Baby was posterior, but she had a fast labor (an hour and a half!) and she jokes that the experience was "almost orgasmic"! That makes me smile! In the mainstream obstetric world, she would have been put through the system, probably induced, who knows what else. Her head would have most definitely been filled with seeds of doubt that her baby would be healthy, that she'd start labor all on her own. But as it was, with a knowledgable and caring midwife to care for her at home, she kept a positive attitude the whole time and it certainly paid off in the end!

Timing

The past couple of days have been amazing. Reading The Christian Childbirth Handbook and The Nurturing Touch at Birth have really put an excitement in my heart for becoming a doula. However, I'm really struggling right now with the timing of it all. With everything else going on in my life, can I really add something else that will eat up my time? Will my children suffer if I'm gone even more at births? What about my marriage? I've already decided that when I do this it will be on a very limited basis....maybe one to two births per month. Also, I feel very strongly that this needs to be a ministry, not a business and I am currently working a retail job in the evenings once my husband is home to watch the kids, which doesn't mesh well with the unpredictibility of birth. Women will need me to commit to being available for them but I also want to be of good character at work and not start missing work all the time because I'm at a birth. So, it creates a bit of a quandry for me and I'm trying to figure out if God wants me to get all the details worked out first or if he wants me to step out in faith and trust him to work out all the details. Of course I want to trust him, but I also want to be responsible and not damage my reputation at my current job.

Excerpts from "The Christian Childbirth Handbook"

I'm so excited! UPS just dropped off the first of two books I ordered from Amazon last week. I'm glad that Cade is napping (and Gavin and Alayna are at school right now) which gives me the perfect chance to thumb through this book. My first impressions are "This book is amazing!" I've already fallen in love with "Christ Centered Childbirth" by Kelly Townsend and I've been really excited to dig into this one as well. What I really respect about it is that really follows an "everything is permissible but not everything is beneficial" format which (of course) is very biblical. I'm hoping to use both books (Christ Centered Childbirth and Christian Childbirth Handbook) in my future doula ministry. What will be a challenge for me is to support and advocate for women during pregnancy without "coloring" them with my own personal beliefs about natural childbirth. Here's some excerpts to demonstrate what I mean:

Though the Bible gives us standards and principles, there is very little in the way of 'Thou Shalt Not' when it comes to giving birth. It is probably no surprise to you that families can read the same Bible and believe they are called to different actions. Listed here are some of the most common debates in Christian childbirth with the Biblical reasoning given from each side....Be willing to explore both sides of each issue, searching the Bible for clear understanding. When you are done, God may have given you a new outlook on a topic you thought you understood, or he may have strengthened your faith in things you already believed......

Is Childbirth Supposed to be Painful?
Yes: Pain in childbirth is a consequence of the first sin. (Gen. 3:16)
No: I have been redeemed. I am not under the curse and so do not have to suffer the consequences as they pertained to giving birth. (Galationas 3:13)

(More examples given...I just picked one point each for "yes" and "no")

Should a Christian plan to use pain medication?
Yes: My faith and freedom in Christ allows me to use medication in labor. (Romans 14:1-4)
No: I want to use wisdom and discernment to make sure I only resort to medications if they are medically necessary so I do not add risk to the health of my baby or mine. I will not plan to use them because I am afraid. Instead, I'll let God strengthen me. (Galatians 5:13, 2 Tim. 1:7)

And it goes on with headings such as "Stewardship of Good Nutrition", "Spiritually Healthy Pregnancy" and "Making Positive Lifestyle Changes" before it gets into the nitty gritty with the stages of labor, birth planning and dealing with labor challenges.

I am so excited to read this book cover-to-cover....it looks very thorough in the topics it covers and its so refreshing to read it from a Christian worldview.

Gotta Love Video Birth Stories!

All I can say after watching this is WOW!!! If you love reading birth stories, you'll LOVE watching this video of the births of three children, two by cesarean and one by VBA2C!!! Be sure to read the letter that scrolls at the end of the video. I had to pause it a few times (what can I say, I'm a slow reader!) but I thought it was a great ending to a fantastic video.

Cesarean vs. VBAC: A Dramatic Difference from Alexandra Orchard on Vimeo.

Uphill Battle to VBAC

I found an article today from several years ago that got my attention titled Mother Sues Doctor Over Cesarean. It got my attention because I had never heard of anyone successfully winning a case because an unwanted (and unneeded) cesarean was performed. I think the only reason the woman actually won the case was because of the horrible complications that resulted from the surgery. There are a number of things that stuck out to me as incredibly sad about this story. Here's a quote:

She went into labor and again asked to try for a VBAC, however another doctor in the practice performed a cesarean instead.

Its stated so matter-of-fact. She wanted a VBAC, but a doctor performed a cesarean. But, then I try to put myself there.....what really went down? I imagine a laboring woman pleading for the right and ability to birth normally. She's in labor. Everything seems to be normal. Then "another doctor in the practice performed a cesarean". It never says "they convince her to have a cesarean." No where in the article does it suggest they had any sort of consent from her. Did they drug her, knock her out and extract her baby? I cannot imagine the trauma that would cause and I don't know how any doctor in his/her right mind could think that was ok!

Another thing that saddens me is that this article was written in 2007....not sure when the case actually came about, but probably shortly before the article, I would assume. So, what has happened since then? Absolutely nothing! There are more "VBAC bans" now than ever before. Doctors continually bully women into surgeries they don't want. I believe it is only a matter of time before there are more surgery-related complications and lawsuits to follow. I don't like that. I've never been a fan of lawsuits. "The fear of litigation" is a huge reason given of why VBACs are so rare nowadays. What will it take for doctors to respect women and allow them to fully participate in their care? Am I dreaming to even think its possible?

The Power of Silence

I thought this was a really good article about the Power of Silence when giving birth. I'm not a huge supporter of unassisted birth, but the ideas in the article are right on!