Is the Birth Battle of Today Similar to the Breastfeeding Battle of Yesterday?

I was talking to my mom yesterday and the conversation turned to birth and breastfeeding. She said something about how I am so passionate about birth and yet her passion is still for breastfeeding. Now, of course I am pro-breastfeeding, but it got me thinking about why I am *so passionate* about birth while she remains much more passionate about breastfeeding, even years after she nursed her kids. I'm wondering if it because I am able to reap the rewards of the battles that she and her generation fought for breastfeeding, while I am fighting the battles of my generation over birth.

By today's standards, no one doubts the superiority of breastmilk over baby formula. Ask any pediatrician who follows the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations on what is the best food for your newborn baby and they will quote verbatim "the AAP recommends that breastmilk is the best food for your baby through the first year of life." Of course, they get less supportive once you've hit that first birthday, but that's another topic for another day. However, that supportive position towards breastfeeding wasn't always there.

Imagine with me. A young woman learns she is expecting. Although she and all of her siblings were fed formula, she has heard from friends that breastmilk is actually better for her baby. She does lots of research which completely supports this position and she continues reading everything she can get her hands on to do everything possible to ensure breastfeeding gets off to a good start. When she informs her doctor of her plans to breastfeed, a patronizing look comes over his face. "Oh this silly girl," his eyes seem to say, "why doesn't she realize that medical technology has created a better milk?" He may even try to convince her of all the reasons why feeding a baby formula is so much more convenient and easy. "Just think," he says, "you'll be able to go out with your friends and not be tied down at home to that baby......it's liberation! Isn't that what the girls these days want anyway?" Imagine if that woman tries to breastfeed, but with no support from anyone she knows, when problems arise she has nowhere to turn and after shedding some tears, reaches for the can of formula. As that woman grieves the loss of her body's ability to make milk and nourish her baby, well-meaning friends and family try to cheer her up by saying things like, "look at that baby......she's completely perfect and healthy......why get all upset over what type of food to give to her; just be glad you have a healthy baby....." Is any of this starting to sound familiar?

I have no idea if those were actual arguments used in support of formula-feeding. Because I live in a time when breastfeeding is generally supported, its hard to imagine a time when "the professionals" were spouting advice that is 180 degrees opposite of what it is now.

Today we don't have to fight the breastfeeding battles of yesterday, but we do have almost the same battles in childbirth. Women who want to have a natural childbirth, do their research and present it to their doctor often times are laughed at, ridiculed and patronized. Who am *I* to question the decision-making ability of someone who went to medical school and has delivered babies for "x" number of years? Do I think I'm *better* than someone else for wanting something different? If it was good enough for so-and-so, why isn't it good enough for me? When our desires to avoid inductions, drugs and machines are compromised and we end up with much more of a medicalized birth than what we had hoped for and dreamed of we are (in essence) told we are selfish to mourn our natural childbirth.....after all, our baby is healthy.....isn't that all that matters?

Looking to the future, I hope history repeats itself and the next generation will look to us with thankful hearts for the battles we fought (and won!) for them. I hope my daughter (and my sons' wives) have more choices in childbirth. I hope they look back at women who were refused food, refused a tub to ease labor pain, drugged up and were hooked up with wires to machines and think "wow! how archaic! I'm glad I don't have to go through that!" Even if they take their birthing freedoms for granted, I'll be happy, knowing I was part of the generation that paved the way!

I heart Lindsey Meehleis!

This video is inspiring! Watching it, I wonder....is this my path? I don't know if I yet have the courage to go forward toward being a doula, childbirth educator or whatever God has in store for me, but its exciting to watch other women achieving that goal and I love living vicariously through them.

My Journey to a VBAC from Lindsey Meehleis on Vimeo.

Watching Your Due Date Come and Go

Preparing for Cade's birth, with two births (including my very powerful VBAC) under my belt, I felt like I knew everything I needed to know to have him. I was convinced he would come a week early. I went into labor with Gavin 3 days before my due date. Alayna came 5 days before hers. So, naturally I assumed that each baby would come earlier and earlier and Cade was bound to be a good 7 days early......I was WRONG!!!

I remember scheduling a "40 week" appointment with my midwife and we both joked that it would most likely not be necessary....we were both convinced I'd have Cade before that date. Knowing everything I knew that babies come when they are supposed to and as against elective inductions as I was (am), I must admit it was disappointing to not be in labor and a temptation to "take matters into my own hands". There were definitely things going on externally that made me feel pressured to have this baby SOON! My mom was in town and although I knew she'd be there for several weeks, it definitely felt like everyone was waiting around for this baby to come.

In some ways, I felt responsible that he wasn't here yet! I know that sounds silly, looking in hindsight, but I did have those feelings at the time. My dad flew in on my due date! Again, we had convinced ourselves that he'd come early and my dad would come for a week to see us. That's probably the biggest pressure I had. I *so* wanted my dad to meet his newest grandson. It would have killed me for him to come and go and not see Cade. Because of this, I did agree to have my membranes stripped (but not broken!) at that 40 week appointment....something that I didn't think I wanted to do originally. It didn't really do anything for us right away, but Cade came in his own timing, 5 days past when he was predicted.

That brings me to why I'm posting this today. "The Unnecesarean" has a new guest post about being Postdates and does a great job talking about what that really means. I think when we're in the situation, tired of being pregnant, family is waiting for baby and we're really, really, *really* ready to get this show on the road, I think its a great idea to get our head back in reality and know that our babies really do know the best time to come....its not always when we think it should or will be. I was so grateful to my midwife for her encouragement, assuring me that I was healthy, Cade was healthy....we just needed to wait and not hurry him earlier than when he's ready. I'm reminded that not all women have someone in their life who will encourage them this way. In fact, many women have the exact opposite....a provider who is feeling rushed, wants to induce or schedule surgery, plants seeds of fear that something might be wrong with her baby and pushes for decisions to speed things up. During these times, the best thing we can do is pray for peace. Non-stress tests for the baby are great at easing our worry that something is wrong.

A friend just had a beautiful baby girl at home at almost 42 weeks. Baby was posterior, but she had a fast labor (an hour and a half!) and she jokes that the experience was "almost orgasmic"! That makes me smile! In the mainstream obstetric world, she would have been put through the system, probably induced, who knows what else. Her head would have most definitely been filled with seeds of doubt that her baby would be healthy, that she'd start labor all on her own. But as it was, with a knowledgable and caring midwife to care for her at home, she kept a positive attitude the whole time and it certainly paid off in the end!