Watching Your Due Date Come and Go

Preparing for Cade's birth, with two births (including my very powerful VBAC) under my belt, I felt like I knew everything I needed to know to have him. I was convinced he would come a week early. I went into labor with Gavin 3 days before my due date. Alayna came 5 days before hers. So, naturally I assumed that each baby would come earlier and earlier and Cade was bound to be a good 7 days early......I was WRONG!!!

I remember scheduling a "40 week" appointment with my midwife and we both joked that it would most likely not be necessary....we were both convinced I'd have Cade before that date. Knowing everything I knew that babies come when they are supposed to and as against elective inductions as I was (am), I must admit it was disappointing to not be in labor and a temptation to "take matters into my own hands". There were definitely things going on externally that made me feel pressured to have this baby SOON! My mom was in town and although I knew she'd be there for several weeks, it definitely felt like everyone was waiting around for this baby to come.

In some ways, I felt responsible that he wasn't here yet! I know that sounds silly, looking in hindsight, but I did have those feelings at the time. My dad flew in on my due date! Again, we had convinced ourselves that he'd come early and my dad would come for a week to see us. That's probably the biggest pressure I had. I *so* wanted my dad to meet his newest grandson. It would have killed me for him to come and go and not see Cade. Because of this, I did agree to have my membranes stripped (but not broken!) at that 40 week appointment....something that I didn't think I wanted to do originally. It didn't really do anything for us right away, but Cade came in his own timing, 5 days past when he was predicted.

That brings me to why I'm posting this today. "The Unnecesarean" has a new guest post about being Postdates and does a great job talking about what that really means. I think when we're in the situation, tired of being pregnant, family is waiting for baby and we're really, really, *really* ready to get this show on the road, I think its a great idea to get our head back in reality and know that our babies really do know the best time to come....its not always when we think it should or will be. I was so grateful to my midwife for her encouragement, assuring me that I was healthy, Cade was healthy....we just needed to wait and not hurry him earlier than when he's ready. I'm reminded that not all women have someone in their life who will encourage them this way. In fact, many women have the exact opposite....a provider who is feeling rushed, wants to induce or schedule surgery, plants seeds of fear that something might be wrong with her baby and pushes for decisions to speed things up. During these times, the best thing we can do is pray for peace. Non-stress tests for the baby are great at easing our worry that something is wrong.

A friend just had a beautiful baby girl at home at almost 42 weeks. Baby was posterior, but she had a fast labor (an hour and a half!) and she jokes that the experience was "almost orgasmic"! That makes me smile! In the mainstream obstetric world, she would have been put through the system, probably induced, who knows what else. Her head would have most definitely been filled with seeds of doubt that her baby would be healthy, that she'd start labor all on her own. But as it was, with a knowledgable and caring midwife to care for her at home, she kept a positive attitude the whole time and it certainly paid off in the end!