Bedtime Frustrations

I'm reading Elizabeth Pantley's The No-Cry Sleep Solution for Toddlers and Preschoolers and realizing that I have three kids that have some very bad sleep habits and are quite sleep deprived. The following is a quote from the book with my own commentary in parenthesis:

Your child may not seem tired, because overtired children don't always act tired--at least not in the ways parents expect....Do any of these apply to your child? tends to be whiny, fussy or clingy (YES!); sucks thumb, finger or pacifier at times other than bedtime (both Gavin and Alayna suck on their shirt sleeves); is hyperactive especially at times when you think he should be tired (Cade and Gavin - yes!); is overly stubborn (Oh my, YES for Alayna!); has regular temper tantrums or easily becomes upset or angry (YUP!); has difficulty falling asleep when put to bed (that is the biggest understatement thus far); falls asleep frequently when in the car, bus or train (happens often); falls asleep in front of the television (happens occasionally); sometimes falls asleep on the sofa or floor before bedtime (I have pictures to prove this is true); takes a long time to become awake and alert in the morning (YES!); does not appear to be well rested and full of energy (YES!); doesn't seem as happy as she should be (Oh my, YES!).

So, we've got some work to do. I feel guilty that I haven't been consistent enough with bedtime, which is supposed to be 8:30, but varies depending on if I'm home or working and how cooperative they are at obeying the directions to go to sleep. I'm realizing I need to have a very consistent bedtime routine and I attempted to create one tonight. My plan was to put them all in the bathtub around 7 pm. I thought between 7:30 and 8 could be "get into jammies" time and wind down, dim the lights. Then around 8:00 we'd have a last chance to go potty, brush teeth and read a story with the final lights out at 8:30. It didn't go as planned. Bathtime took much longer than expected. After getting Alayna into jammies and turning my attention to Cade, Alayna took all her clothes off and put on her bathing suit. Of course, when I realized this I reacted in a total Christ-like manner (right!), yanked off her bathing suit and forcefully reclothed her. As they were climbing into bed (right before the story) Alayna scratched Gavin's foot with a sharp toenail. So, off to the bathroom we went to find a bandaid and clip toenails. Finally, we got back into bed and I started reading the story again. Gavin and Alayna were doing great paying attention to the story. Cade, on the other hand, was rambunxious and kept head-butting Alayna. Seems silly to get angry at a 17-month-old for such behavior, but I was furious! I scooped Cade up and it took every ounce of willpower to not hurt him. I took him to his daddy in the living room and stomped back to the kids bedroom. Cade, upset that I transplanted him so abruptly, wailed. Somehow, I got through the rest of the story and the kids promised to stay in bed (something that rarely happens....usually they come out of their beds several times and I resort to yelling and threats.....not a good night for anyone). Miraculously, by 9:30 two of the three were in bed and staying there. Cade was still wailing in daddy's arms. I went back into the living room and nursed him, which calmed him considerably, but even now, at nearly 10 pm, he's wide awake. Its going to take more reading from Ms. Pantley to figure out how to get Cade going to bed at a reasonable hour.

I know I'm not alone dealing with the bedtime battles and lack of sleep and I know it will all get better at some point. I'm just hoping (with a little help) it will be sooner rather than later. With too little sleep I am not the calm, happy mama I want to be for my kids.